Most of the newly-arrived graduate students made the same mistake trying to maintain their English conversations: They focused only on what they're going to reply and how to express their ideas. However, the key to continue the conversation turns out to be whether you understand what others say or not.
From practical point of view, if you do understand your partner, you only have to repeat what you just heard as well as to ask the right questions to keep the conversation going. On the other hand, if you're thinking about your replies than understanding your partner, the conversation often comes to a sudden end because of not knowing how to answer a simple question from your partner.
From psychological point of view, your partner has as strong desire as you do to show off his knowledge and express himself so what you need to do is simply choosing the right topics and let your partner do the talking.
Take myself for example, if somebody discusses with me topics like how to learn English or how to play GO, I will probably explain to him all the strategies I know. As long as he still follows what I am preaching and still shows interest in the conversation, I don't care much about if he says anything or not.
In Carnegie's book, human beings pursue after the feeling of importance. The inconvenient truth here is: A patient and careful listener contribute greatly to speaker's the feeling of importance.
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